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May. 12th, 2017 02:55 am
nebris: (A Dark Boy)
[personal profile] nebris
~The primary reason I've been so depressed is because I have the huge cyst on my right bicep. It was just a little pimple like thing for a few months, but in the past week or so, when my tooth was infected, it has ballooned to the size of an avocado pit. And I'm fucking scared.

I am going to the local clinic, but they can't see me until next Friday. I may take myself to the ER before then.

But what this has done is kicked in all of my self worth issues and most damaging, the deepest fear I have, the one pounded into me by my family the first fifty years of my life, that I cannot have any happiness or success and what little I might get, will soon be taken away.

Thia has crippled me this week and try as I might to fight it, I am sinking deeper and deeper into a really Black Depression...and the hope I had clung too now seems a cruel joke.
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The Divine Mr. M

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