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~I'm starting to write here because I feel the need to write something, but I also feel blank and numb and...
I feel useless and empty. It's not even like I'm 'suicidal' or 'crushed'. I just feel a sort of nothing. I suspect I could start weeping at any moment if given the right stimuli, but I'm sick of that as well.
I miss the pleasure I was getting from my fan-fic novel. I had not felt that way in literally years. And I'm very resentful and angry about the pain and suffering that has been visited upon us that squelched that joy. I say 'us' because it is not just about me, which makes it worse. I can live with my own pain and suffering, but that of others...
Now the tears come. I hate this....
I feel useless and empty. It's not even like I'm 'suicidal' or 'crushed'. I just feel a sort of nothing. I suspect I could start weeping at any moment if given the right stimuli, but I'm sick of that as well.
I miss the pleasure I was getting from my fan-fic novel. I had not felt that way in literally years. And I'm very resentful and angry about the pain and suffering that has been visited upon us that squelched that joy. I say 'us' because it is not just about me, which makes it worse. I can live with my own pain and suffering, but that of others...
Now the tears come. I hate this....