Today is 6th Quadria, 13AS...a Eponaday

"Eponaday is The First Day. Epona is a very ancient Celtic Goddess of Horses. She is chosen because The Horse is central to Amazon Culture. She starts off the week with the symbolic 'getting back in the saddle'."

"Let us look at the structure of the week itself. The First, Second and Third Days are the 'official' Work Week for business, school, etc. On the Weekend, the Fourth Day is half and half; morning and early afternoon for finishing up the Work Week and the late afternoon and evening for playing and partying. The Fifth Day is not a religious holiday per se, but rather meant to be a day of relaxation and reflection."

Addendum D [Calendar for A New Matriarchy]

Her Prophet Walks Away....

~I'm not 'giving up' per se, though it might wind up as such over time. I think of it as more of a sabbatical. I am bitter and burnt out and if I do not walk away now, I might just get carried away.

This is the end result of three things, two of which unfolded in the past month or so.

The key event is about money, ever the case here in The Republic. If'n ya ain't got money, y'all ain't shit.

The day after The Sequester became the principle element dominating the American economic landscape, we received a box from Le-Le's VA lawyer. It contained all her medical records – a stack of paper about 10% larger than a Manhattan phone book – and a letter from him dropping her as a client for 'personal reasons'.

I'm supposing said reasons were that with Sequestration, her case was no longer profitable for him. I doubt she was the only client he dropped that week. For all we know, he's bailing on the whole racket.

But that pushed her Major VA Benefits back from months to years. And with that any hope of incorporating The Temple and implementing various other related plans any time soon. We'll survive; I've maneuvered all the numbers down to their workable essentials. But beyond that...?

The next issue was a series of events regarding a number of women who I had come to depend upon for some small support. They all turned out to be too damaged, too crazy and/or too scared to really show up. I gave, but got nothing back in return but Cray-Cray and, from a couple, open hostility, the latter because I didn't bullshit them and they freaked out at The Truth because that shit is always fucking harsh.

That left me feeling empty and abandoned and disheartened in ways I don't even want to get into right now.

Finally, though not really last, is that I am stuck vis-a-vis writing The Explanation. It is a tough volume to work upon. And with having to focus on survival and having no steady intellectual support system to rely upon, I have largely ground to a halt.

Yes, there are little spurts here and there, but my 'inspirational engine' has burned out trying to get the thing out of this ditch. Combine with the above set of events, this has left me exhausted on a primal level. If I do not stop, it could truly break me. And so I must leave it there in that ditch.

I have taken all the various files and folders on my desk-top and put them all in a single folder and tucked that away. I'm not sure what the rest of this will look like at this point because I mean walk away, which generally means not knowing where I'm going...

I have spoken with E about this and She agreed. I suspect She is even more aware of how badly I'm doing. I thought I 'heard' worry in Her tone.

And so...I go.



PS I have of course given myself permission to come back and bitch about various issues regarding this subject if and when I see fit, as the above is certainly not 'comprehensive'.