nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~Got to the tire place today and took care of that issue. From there I headed to the vet to talk numbers. And I could not get a workable deal. I wanted to skip the x-ray and just amputate the leg. I said even if he's only got a little while left at least let's get rid of that horror.

But I felt like they've kept moving the goal posts. Last time they were ready to accept a monthly payment plan, but today they wanted all the money up front. That's six hundred bucks more. Just not least not right away.

So now we have to face the likelihood that Buckethead just gets to suffer with his Big Ugly Foot for a little while longer and then we simply put him to sleep. Some how I've been keeping all the tears at bay. Maybe I'm just numb at this point....
nebris: (Biz Kat)
~I'm taking Icarus to the vet Friday morning for x-rays – which it turns out are an extra $120 – to see if his condition warrants the procedure or not. If yes, his leg will come off on Sunday.

I worry about this. It's a back leg and he's a jumper. His favorite places are 'up'. If he can no longer jump I worry how he'll take it....

...but the process is in motion. *sigh*
nebris: (Biz Kat)
~As of yesterday afternoon, there is enough cash in the vet account to proceed with whatever this is going to be. Emotionally, I was unable to call them and schedule an appointment.

I just got up about an hour ago. I suspect I'll only be up for a another three hours or so. [I'm a mess] But I'll call this afternoon. *sigh* I'm immensely grateful to our Primary Donor...and massively ambivalent about what will come next.


Aug. 31st, 2013 10:05 pm
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~The heat hasn't been so bad, but the humidity has been fucking brutal. Knocked the shit out of both of us today. Le-Le is still out cold. She's got our only window AC.

We're hunkered down for the weekend. Got enough grub etc to hold us until I make a WinCo run Tues or Wed.

We'll start pushing with the vet fund again then as well. Meantime, the old ginger fool has been getting a lot of quality time in here with me.

My back is slowly improving. I'm even writing again without forcing it.

And there ya have it....


Aug. 30th, 2013 12:12 am
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~Been sleeping a lot, taking a lot of analgesics and last night I stuck the heating pad under my ass. Slowly my back is getting better.

Been spending a lot of quality time with Buckethead. However this goes, he knows he's loved. [I started crying as soon as I typed that]

The first cheques hit the joint account in about an hour from now. We've made through another month. We do so with roughly three bucks in the bank and twenty four bucks cash in hand. Tightest we've been all year.

The cumulative stress has brought my writing largely to a halt. *sigh*
nebris: (Biz Kat)
~I took Icarus down to the vet this morning. I let Le-Le sleep because she wasn't feeling well last night.

The vet said the tumor has gotten bigger. So, essentially, I fucked up. I should have had him remove it three weeks ago. Now that operation would run close to a grand because they'll have to take off his small toe, which will require an over night stay, etc. Obviously, that ain't gonna happen.

It still hasn't hit me yet, that I fucked up, that I wasted all the fucking money y'all donated. But it will. Le-Le will try to talk me out of it...but I am wired to punish myself for my failures and it's really too late to change that.

Meanwhile, the big old ginger fool is lounging here in my room. He's just happy to be home again....


Jul. 18th, 2013 01:28 am
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~So, the live trap is re-set, re-baited and back under the house. Goddess willing, the lil shit will be too hungry to ignore it.

After we did that, I used the momentum to clean the litter boxes and haul the garbage dingus to the street. Gonna fuck off today and make a WinCo run Friday.

Got only a small amount of writing done yesterday, but considering how shitty I felt, I'm fine what with I did. And this project is about enjoyment anyway. If the accomplishment is not pleasurable, then fuck it.

And now, back to bed...


Jan. 27th, 2013 07:40 am
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~In the countdown to the end of the month. We get our monies on Friday. We'll just squeak by again, Goddess willing...though we have a pretty good amount of food in the house, so no going hungry issues here.

Gonna do a 'pick-up' shopping at Albertson's later and that will more or less be that, cash wise. 'House staples' [milk, 1/2&1/2, bread] and my 'breakfast cycle' stuff [bananas, yogurt].

There, is that banal enough for you? I'm blogging my fucking shopping list...
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~It's still 104° out there, so I think I'll put off getting my beetus meds until the weekend when it's cooler. I have enough to last till then. Cat food however can only wait until it gets dark.

Is this banal enough for y'all?


Jun. 19th, 2012 05:01 am
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~I slept most of Monday away. I was just too exhausted to function. I did sleep better when I accepted the possibility that we may not get into a new place before the end of this month.

We're planning to drive over to the park where there are supposed to be some rentals. They have not returned Le-Le's calls, but the listings were moved forward yesterday, so hopefully some of them are still available.

Doing my best to keep my spirits up. And we really needed at least a week of total downtime to effectively recover from the months of stress....


Jun. 16th, 2012 03:40 pm
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~I'm past the wobbly/achy phase. I actually felt three/quarters human when I woke up today. I am however still fairly burnt out and will need a nap in a few.

Le-Le called some leads for rentals and is waiting for call-backs, so some Positive Forward Motion has been made today. That will allow me to sleep some more. If not, I would obsess about Gotta Do! Gotta Do! and get no sleep, which obviously would defeat the purpose.

And we do need to push this coming week. But I'll stop here before I work myself up...


Jun. 14th, 2012 12:21 pm
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~Essentially, what is happening to us is that the Bursting of The Housing Bubble has finally caught up with us. The shape of that outcome we'll likely know in a few hours.

That is all...
nebris: (A Manga Thang)
~Regarding my last post, one may wonder why I do not stay in said 'improved mood'? The reason is three-fold.

First, and most obvious, is our present 'state of siege'. While our long term financial outlook is quite positive – Le-Le will get a nice piece of change from her 100% VA Disability back payment and our monthly income will double – right now That Woman is 'running a clock' on us, with all the attendant stress and worry. This is a Core Survival Issue. It is profoundly wearing.

Second, the 'general state of human affairs' is fucking depressing...and no, I'm not going to stop reading about all that. It's part and parcel of what I do; Study and Observe. Much of that is 'bad news'. I wouldn't be on this Path if it wasn't.

Third, and likely the most Important, none of you, my Sisters, has yet joined us in this Work. That is very disheartening, very. Without you not only is this Work impossible, it is totally without meaning. I'm not doing this for myself, no matter what the various idiots say. As I've said before, The Temple is tough sell.

If I was really gonna run a practical 'cult scam', I'd have picked some Jebus variation, and likely be very good at it. I seem to draw damaged young men who desperately need a father figure. I could pull together a core of 'acolyte/enforcers' fairly easily. Sweet young pussy would follow soon after, trust me. I'm just not fucked up enough to run such a scene, not for an extended period, at least. *sigh* It would probably all end in Blood and Fire I suspect.

Anyway, that's the name of that fucking tune...


nebris: (Default)
The Divine Mr. M

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