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...wrote this around 6am yesterday..my mood has shifted since then..because I'm a moody bitch...
~I've been giving serious thought to suicide again. Not out of Depression, nor for in the immediate future, but more as a long term plan. I read these two entry's on The Hipcrime Vocab blog [HERE and HERE] and such restarted my thinking along these lines. I'm nearly sixty three and I'm not all that optimistic about The Temple being physically established any time soon, which would be the only reason I'd hang on until the absolute limit of my ability to do so, to provide support and guidance until my very last breathe.
Of course, I'll have to discuss this with Le-Le*, but she's not in great shape either and in a decade or so might be ready to voluntarily check out as well. Rehoming or euthanasia for whatever kitties we'd have at that point would be on a case by case basis. That part is the only thing that makes me sad, but my 'wife' is 17 and my 'buddy' is 16, so they'll both be gone by then anyway. [had to stop and cry there]
So, yes, I'm fucking serious about this. But again, no freaking out; this is Long Term Planning and not carved in stone by any means. As Her Prophet these are the type of things I am required to consider.
Of course I will finish The Explanation before taking any 'drastic action' such as the above. I still have Faith and Hope that one day The Temple will truly come into existence and that frickin' book needs to be available when that day comes because without said day will not arrive.
I also have 'faith' that the Human Race will survive as well, not from some 'high minded' place, but because I know full well we're like fucking cockroaches. Even if ninety percent of humans were killed off today, that'd still leave three quarters of a billion of us, half again as many as the world population when Columbus hit Hispaniola. It is entirely possible that we may wind up having to live underground for three or four centuries because of how we're stupidly and greedily fucking shit up right now, but have no doubt that we'll do so if we have to.
But while the the initial plans for the First Karaal are mobile homes and above ground pools, the Long Term Plan is in fact a semi-underground structure. I call it Nedo Uno, which means 'Nest One' in Spanish. It's a ovoid conical structure with three quarters of its body sunk into the desert floor – three to seven stories down, depending upon the resources available – with a waterfall at the top and a garden at the bottom, plus underground cisterns for water storage and tunnels to connect it to the other 'nests' once they're built. Wouldn't be too hard to totally 'go subterranean' if necessary.
That is maybe the toughest part about not having an End of Days epistemology. One has not only to plan for the End of Cycles, but also for the Beginning of Cycles, too. There are no 'easy outs' like “Jesus is Coming.” He's not and neither is The Goddess nor any other extra human savior. We can create new deitys to help us along the way, but ultimately, we're IT. The Good News is we are capable of becoming Deitys Ourselves...if we do it right.
I do not fear Death itself. What I fear is missing out on 'what happens next'. But, as ever...
...more shall be Revealed.
*Le-Le said she's not having any of this and has no intention of 'punching her ticket in ten years'. lol Oh well...
~I've been giving serious thought to suicide again. Not out of Depression, nor for in the immediate future, but more as a long term plan. I read these two entry's on The Hipcrime Vocab blog [HERE and HERE] and such restarted my thinking along these lines. I'm nearly sixty three and I'm not all that optimistic about The Temple being physically established any time soon, which would be the only reason I'd hang on until the absolute limit of my ability to do so, to provide support and guidance until my very last breathe.
Of course, I'll have to discuss this with Le-Le*, but she's not in great shape either and in a decade or so might be ready to voluntarily check out as well. Rehoming or euthanasia for whatever kitties we'd have at that point would be on a case by case basis. That part is the only thing that makes me sad, but my 'wife' is 17 and my 'buddy' is 16, so they'll both be gone by then anyway. [had to stop and cry there]
So, yes, I'm fucking serious about this. But again, no freaking out; this is Long Term Planning and not carved in stone by any means. As Her Prophet these are the type of things I am required to consider.
Of course I will finish The Explanation before taking any 'drastic action' such as the above. I still have Faith and Hope that one day The Temple will truly come into existence and that frickin' book needs to be available when that day comes because without said day will not arrive.
I also have 'faith' that the Human Race will survive as well, not from some 'high minded' place, but because I know full well we're like fucking cockroaches. Even if ninety percent of humans were killed off today, that'd still leave three quarters of a billion of us, half again as many as the world population when Columbus hit Hispaniola. It is entirely possible that we may wind up having to live underground for three or four centuries because of how we're stupidly and greedily fucking shit up right now, but have no doubt that we'll do so if we have to.
But while the the initial plans for the First Karaal are mobile homes and above ground pools, the Long Term Plan is in fact a semi-underground structure. I call it Nedo Uno, which means 'Nest One' in Spanish. It's a ovoid conical structure with three quarters of its body sunk into the desert floor – three to seven stories down, depending upon the resources available – with a waterfall at the top and a garden at the bottom, plus underground cisterns for water storage and tunnels to connect it to the other 'nests' once they're built. Wouldn't be too hard to totally 'go subterranean' if necessary.
That is maybe the toughest part about not having an End of Days epistemology. One has not only to plan for the End of Cycles, but also for the Beginning of Cycles, too. There are no 'easy outs' like “Jesus is Coming.” He's not and neither is The Goddess nor any other extra human savior. We can create new deitys to help us along the way, but ultimately, we're IT. The Good News is we are capable of becoming Deitys Ourselves...if we do it right.
I do not fear Death itself. What I fear is missing out on 'what happens next'. But, as ever...
...more shall be Revealed.
*Le-Le said she's not having any of this and has no intention of 'punching her ticket in ten years'. lol Oh well...
