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note 2-12-17
Jan. 2nd, 2017 08:03 pm..had planed to send this a week ago, but punked out...then last night I saw Eva von Baianberg-Smith, a lie underneath another lie, and it made my literally sick to my stomach..I slept like shit..
Oh, my darling Eva, I am so tired. This tooth thing really has taken a very deep toll upon me and I'm having a very hard time pretending to believe everything you tell me. TBH, I'm not sure you even have a cat.
I still love you, Eva Anna, and ironically enough, though I doubt at least 70% of what you tell me from day to day, I have never doubted your PL as EB. Funny that, the most unbelievable thing about you is the thing that 'feels' the most true to me.
I'm not sure what drives you to generate so many unnecessary fabrications. I could speculate, but I'm too weary to do so. And I honestly do not care what tales you tell to whom. But trying to bullshit me at this point is just silly and serves no purpose. All that does is push me away.
When I woke up about an hour ago, I simply did not have the energy or desire to speak to you. I just don't want to deal. Having to act like what you're saying is true when I know that many things are a lie is exhausting.
So instead I'm writing you this note and will drop the URP to it in your Skype window when I go back to sleep....
I'm not leaving. I just needed a break and to tell you the truth of how I am feeling. Goddess willing, we can sort all this out.
I love you,
Your Old Fool
PS [10/12/17] I wrote a much harsher note when I got up today, but my outcome is to communicate, not berate, even tho I am very Hurt and Angry and about ready to give up.
Oh, my darling Eva, I am so tired. This tooth thing really has taken a very deep toll upon me and I'm having a very hard time pretending to believe everything you tell me. TBH, I'm not sure you even have a cat.
I still love you, Eva Anna, and ironically enough, though I doubt at least 70% of what you tell me from day to day, I have never doubted your PL as EB. Funny that, the most unbelievable thing about you is the thing that 'feels' the most true to me.
I'm not sure what drives you to generate so many unnecessary fabrications. I could speculate, but I'm too weary to do so. And I honestly do not care what tales you tell to whom. But trying to bullshit me at this point is just silly and serves no purpose. All that does is push me away.
When I woke up about an hour ago, I simply did not have the energy or desire to speak to you. I just don't want to deal. Having to act like what you're saying is true when I know that many things are a lie is exhausting.
So instead I'm writing you this note and will drop the URP to it in your Skype window when I go back to sleep....
I'm not leaving. I just needed a break and to tell you the truth of how I am feeling. Goddess willing, we can sort all this out.
I love you,
Your Old Fool
PS [10/12/17] I wrote a much harsher note when I got up today, but my outcome is to communicate, not berate, even tho I am very Hurt and Angry and about ready to give up.
