Kitteh Nooz

~I'm just finishing my breakfast cycle. Then I'll suit up and take Buckethead to the vet for x-rays and chit. If his chest is clear and there's no growth beyond his foot, then he'll go under the knife Sunday.

My whole body is taut, pulsing uncomfortable, like a mild anxiety attack. But I seemed okay until I started thinking about the 'practical details' of a post-amputation situation – feeding him with a collar still on, keeping said collar on for any length of time, etc – and I just fell apart, started sobbing like a baby. *sigh*

I feel this grief in my very bones. I don't know what else to say...

GADDAM MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!

~The thing was total clusterfuck. Everything I was told about money and payments and so on was completely wrong. I spent over two fuck hours there and got fucking zero done.

I was told that they can't use the money in the Leg Fund for the x-rays because those are 'extra' and so 'not part of the package'. And that the balance would have to be paid upon completion of the surgery, if that takes place.

I'm exhausted and angry and...oh, fuck it!

I'm having something to eat and going back to bed. I cannot think straight...