Random

~I just finished the hand written part of something last night. Today, the feeling of emptiness and loss that comes with that gaped open and all my depression, grief and regret flooded into that space. At least I've been writing enough to remember that is what happens when I write. But it was brutal nonetheless. I was sitting on the crappier and I just started crying. *sigh*

I still have to type in and edit the last bit, but I cannot seem to be able to face it. Maybe after I finish this thing. Remembering this part of the process in the moment helped a bit, but it kicks the shit out of me because the things that flood in are either as yet unresolved or simply unresolvable.

This is certainly a factor in my inability to finish my 'holy book' so far. The crash from that one feels like it could kill me.....