one more day

I lay upon my bed
pleasant flaccid numbness
a depression hangover

I think of...things
colored pencils arranged by shade
neat patches of farm land
a kitchen tables set for breakfast
bathed in the golden light of morning
English actors playing Swedes
Order against Chaos
Life Against Death

I just lay there
a pleasant flaccid numbness
but my bladder requires attention
and I have a day that I need
to get through as if it meant something...

...my Faith is weak
I cannot hear my Spirit Guide
and I fear my Death