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nebris~I've been reading John Barnes Directive 51 series and it has been making me incredibly depressed and morose, but Barnes is such a compelling story teller I cannot put the fucking thing down. I'm more than half way through the second volume of the trilogy and it keeps confirming my worst beliefs about the human race and its likely fate.
I'm also finding myself even more depressed about my 'retirement', but a lot of that is because my grief over Icarus' condition has poisoned the peace I attained in the month or so after I started to walk away. I hardly have any sustained moments of pleasure or happiness these days.
If I was suicidally inclined, I'd be planning my death. But I'm not, so I just get to suck up the pain and keep 'doing', all overshadowed by the feeling that I have been betrayed by The Universe....
I'm also finding myself even more depressed about my 'retirement', but a lot of that is because my grief over Icarus' condition has poisoned the peace I attained in the month or so after I started to walk away. I hardly have any sustained moments of pleasure or happiness these days.
If I was suicidally inclined, I'd be planning my death. But I'm not, so I just get to suck up the pain and keep 'doing', all overshadowed by the feeling that I have been betrayed by The Universe....
