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nebris~It's been a week now since we brought the Old Fool home from the vet. As I have noted, he's bounced back nicely.
I have have enough decompression time to feel how heavy a toll this whole episode has taken upon me. I was in near totally emotional paralysis from at least early September, though such had been setting in from mid August.
That is real Depression. I did effectively stop functioning for two months. I can place that at the visit to Mission where they moved the goal posts [the first time they refuted the payment plan they themselves had proposed] and then ganged up on me in the exam room while I was 'in meltdown'.
That stress and grief caused my lower back to lock up and knock flat me upon itself. That in turn cascaded my Depression. Poor Buckethead suffered an extra two months because of that, which I could see everyday and that pushed me deeper into emotionally paralyzing Depression. Mission doing another 'bait and switch' with payment plans dug me in deeper as well.
I suspect it was support from various close friends that finally snapped me out of that enough to clear my mind and Google a vet here in Rosamond in mid December. Once I did that, things moved quickly. I'm still kinda fuzzy on the internal specifics of how that happened. [Asking Le-Le to work on my neck was a Key Moment] It'll take me time to unpack all that. I will because specifies are Important, being potentially replicable steps to take next time.
What I am clear on right now is how utterly fried I am, physically and mentally, and that I really really need to chill out – for a few months at least – and heal from all this. I need to avoid Pressure and Drama as much as I can. I pray that Goddess supports me in that...
I have have enough decompression time to feel how heavy a toll this whole episode has taken upon me. I was in near totally emotional paralysis from at least early September, though such had been setting in from mid August.
That is real Depression. I did effectively stop functioning for two months. I can place that at the visit to Mission where they moved the goal posts [the first time they refuted the payment plan they themselves had proposed] and then ganged up on me in the exam room while I was 'in meltdown'.
That stress and grief caused my lower back to lock up and knock flat me upon itself. That in turn cascaded my Depression. Poor Buckethead suffered an extra two months because of that, which I could see everyday and that pushed me deeper into emotionally paralyzing Depression. Mission doing another 'bait and switch' with payment plans dug me in deeper as well.
I suspect it was support from various close friends that finally snapped me out of that enough to clear my mind and Google a vet here in Rosamond in mid December. Once I did that, things moved quickly. I'm still kinda fuzzy on the internal specifics of how that happened. [Asking Le-Le to work on my neck was a Key Moment] It'll take me time to unpack all that. I will because specifies are Important, being potentially replicable steps to take next time.
What I am clear on right now is how utterly fried I am, physically and mentally, and that I really really need to chill out – for a few months at least – and heal from all this. I need to avoid Pressure and Drama as much as I can. I pray that Goddess supports me in that...
