The Divine Mr. M

~My darling Kat called me earlier to wish me a happy birthday. She's called a dozen times in the past two months or so. And I've been very bad about calling her back. This is part of what I said to her in an e-mail:

“Please forgive me for not calling back all these months. I've been avoiding the phone in general because the thought of any kind of personal conversation makes me tired and anxious. All I've had to talk about is negative and taxing and I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. I can make 'business' calls because they are brief, specific, and detached. But you know once I get on the phone two hours will pass in an instant at least.

I said to Le-Le the other day that we have to use the 'getting over a breakup' time table, you know, half the time you were in the relationship, to heal from all this shit. Between The Oathbreaker and Bette Fucken Goldenring, we had nine months of essentially unrelenting Crisis and Drama, punctuated with moments of Terrible Loss. So I'd say we need roughly four and a half months.

And we've been here in Funky Town for barely two months now...

I'm just sleeping when I'm tired and eating when I'm hungry. I know I need to start doing some physical exercise...and I'll get to that when I get to that, probably as it cools off a bit more.”

That pretty much sums up what's going on around here. I forgot the part about what Moropus said to me the other day, that there's been so much shit flying around here that no-one can sort out The Message, that my 'background noise' is the aggro, not my Work.

I replied, “Yeah, it's tough being a Great and Glorious Guru when you're getting you ass kicked.” What I got from that is that I just need to fucking chill for a good while, likely the rest of the year. It seems the aggro has gone away - *knocks on wood* - so we should be able to do that. We both have health issues that need to be attended to, but those are not picking our pockets or putting us on the street.

And at some point the VA will give into Le-Le's lawyer – maybe another year or so - and cough up some serious and steady cash. We need to be calm and rested to utilize that effectively.

And so it is...