Today is 8th Sestia, 12AS...a Taraday

"Taraday is The Third Day. Tara is both a Hindu Goddess and Buddhist Saint. The Hindu Tara is an Aspect of Kali. The Buddhist Tara reincarnates only as a woman. She is chosen because She symbolizes 'the End that is not the End'."

Addendum D [Calendar for A New Matriarchy]

Random

~Slept hard last night/this morning. I am more or less 'improved', in that I'm neither achy or depressed. All things considered, I'll have that state of being, thank you very much. And shit should stay chill at least until Monday.

For months now my dreams have been extremely vivid, complex and intense, so much so that they defy my meager skills at description...and they tend to get washed away by the shit in my Waking Life.

However, I was able to hold on to the primary Dreaming from early this morning. Note that these things seem to last for hours and bleed into each other.

I was at some sort of 'rally/event'. It was outdoors, at what seemed to be an urban baseball field. This guy, some sort of 'motivational/spiritual' leader type, was running this thing. It was very impressive, a dynamic mix of LGAT and Performance Art. While I personally was not buying what he was selling – not sure what it was anyway – I was very inspired by his work, how he staged and performed the thing.

That inspiration stayed with me when I woke up, hence my 'improved' mood. Even still sitting on the edge of my bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I felt that most wonderful thing; a Sense of Possibility. I started thinking about some of the specifics that can get The Temple going. It felt very good, believe me.

I suspect that these are all Lesson Dreamings. No wonder I've spent so much time sleeping. That has been a space for both Healing and Teaching. Of course, sooner or later, one must Awake and Do..and such shall happen in the Goddess' good time.

And so it is...

Random [redux]

~Regarding my last post, one may wonder why I do not stay in said 'improved mood'? The reason is three-fold.

First, and most obvious, is our present 'state of siege'. While our long term financial outlook is quite positive – Le-Le will get a nice piece of change from her 100% VA Disability back payment and our monthly income will double – right now That Woman is 'running a clock' on us, with all the attendant stress and worry. This is a Core Survival Issue. It is profoundly wearing.

Second, the 'general state of human affairs' is fucking depressing...and no, I'm not going to stop reading about all that. It's part and parcel of what I do; Study and Observe. Much of that is 'bad news'. I wouldn't be on this Path if it wasn't.

Third, and likely the most Important, none of you, my Sisters, has yet joined us in this Work. That is very disheartening, very. Without you not only is this Work impossible, it is totally without meaning. I'm not doing this for myself, no matter what the various idiots say. As I've said before, The Temple is tough sell.

If I was really gonna run a practical 'cult scam', I'd have picked some Jebus variation, and likely be very good at it. I seem to draw damaged young men who desperately need a father figure. I could pull together a core of 'acolyte/enforcers' fairly easily. Sweet young pussy would follow soon after, trust me. I'm just not fucked up enough to run such a scene, not for an extended period, at least. *sigh* It would probably all end in Blood and Fire I suspect.

Anyway, that's the name of that fucking tune...