Aug. 20th, 2015
~Twelve days since my father died. I get moments of grief and some tears, but it all has an unreal quality. I suppose that is largely the Time and Distance thing at work. So long since I'd seen him and he was so far away. [New Jersey]
I do have some regrets that I did not call more often. I tried to get him on-line, but he resisted. The problems with calling were that I get tired, but more that I no longer do 'small talk'. It's all Politics and The Fate of The World. How could I say to him, “You did a wonderful job raising my brother and sister. Too bad their world is pretty much fucked,”?
I had planned to give HIM a present for MY birthday, a letter saying I'm sorry for not calling more and a handful of my short stories, so he could see a little bit of what I was doing. And then he was in the hospital..and then he was dead.
There, that brought up some tears....
I do have some regrets that I did not call more often. I tried to get him on-line, but he resisted. The problems with calling were that I get tired, but more that I no longer do 'small talk'. It's all Politics and The Fate of The World. How could I say to him, “You did a wonderful job raising my brother and sister. Too bad their world is pretty much fucked,”?
I had planned to give HIM a present for MY birthday, a letter saying I'm sorry for not calling more and a handful of my short stories, so he could see a little bit of what I was doing. And then he was in the hospital..and then he was dead.
There, that brought up some tears....